If you asked your spouse to give you a reason that he loved you and he sat silent, how would you take that?

My husband and I are having marital problems. When we argue, he is very insulting to me. I am starting the separation/divorce process and while talking about how are marriage has none of the qualities that a real marriage should have, I asked him what could he possibly have to say that would be a compliment. He sat dead silent. Am I wrong to assume that he cant think of anything? The answer I finally get is men don't think like that. If you asked your spouse that question, then gave them plenty of time to think, would you expect that he would then have an answer? I still got dead silence. Also is 36 harassing phone calls within 40 minutes enough to get a restraining order? This happens often, mostly while Im at work.If you asked your spouse to give you a reason that he loved you and he sat silent, how would you take that?
dead silence is definitely not a good thing. Men do think like that...when they say they don't its just an excuse. When I asked my fiance why he loves me he answers right off the bat, so to me it means that maybe he doesn't love you anymore. I'm pretty sure that 36 harassing phone calls is enough for a restraining order. If he leaves any messages that are harrassing save them as evidence.If you asked your spouse to give you a reason that he loved you and he sat silent, how would you take that?
I would think that if someone loved another person they could come up with a list of reasons why they love someone I can even do that for my Dog..kickem to the curb and forget about him you deserve better!!!
If you are asking for a compliment, you are directing your husband to say what you expect him to say. Would that answer really be meaningful? Discussions like this need to be honest discussions that lay open your real feelings about your relationship. This is the only way you can get at the problems. Prompting does not work. More on all that in my ';source.';
Look, it's really impossible to say what his issue is. I would say it's time to look really deeply inside yourself for what you really believe is going on between the two of you. If he won't answer, your beliefs become all you can really base your decisions off of. So many times, in my own life and relationship, I have found that when I am 'missing something' it's because I'm not showing her what it is I need. I can tell her until I'm blue in the face. But I have to remind myself she is not me and I'm not her. I have to show her how I want to be treated, a growing process that will presumably last our entire lives together, as we will never know each other completely through. Life is about the journey, not the destination.
He's only going to have that answer if you actually do something to give him one.


You're divorcing him - why would he?


If he asked *you* that question, what would you say?


Silence? Or would you lay into him about what a pos husband he is and you don't have a good reason to love him.


He took Thumper's advice - if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.


So if he stays silent and you would criticism him then he is one providing more love in the marriage right now.





You are exhibiting contempt which one of four things that relentlessly destroys marriages.


i.e. It is not possible to reconcile with that attitude.





I am not saying he is a great husband, but you are currently preventing any possibility of reconciliation or a happy marriage. Now or ever. To him or someone else.





You have to change. You may as well practice with your current husband.





If you are young, low twenties, then this is ';normal tweener BS';. If you are approaching 30 or older... it's time to grow-up.





I usually do not recommend 'professional counseling' because it can do more harm than good and self-marriage counseling yields better results but I think you in particular would benefit from counseling.


Go yourself even if your husband won't go.
Trick question that would phuck anyone who was not prepared to answer it .


Even worse is that even a well thought out answer may not be the reasons you wanted to hear.





Like yesterday a chick posted she had asked her husband why he married her, he answered '; Because I love you '; . That was not a spectacular enough answer for her and she was pissed.
men do not express their feelings like women, i think it depends on how they are raised. i wouldnt expect any man to sit down and have an ';i feel'; marathon, sounds like he may have other issues also, be careful, good luck
I don't think any man thinks about these things until he gets busted ~ just like your husband did. Once it happens and he feels stupid enough about it, he makes sure that he will always be able to answer that question if he's asked again.





In your case, you asked this question while you're in the midst of ending your marriage. It's hard to find something positive to say about someone while you're harboring a ton of resentment towards them. It sounds like you broke your husband's heart, and he's hurt and angry. Granted he's being immature in his way of dealing with it, but that allows you to make him look like the bad guy while you act like you didn't play any role in the demise of your marriage at all.
fine.
Sometimes men don't express their feelings with words rather than show you. If neither are happening, it is not a good sign. You two should not let fighting give you cause for divorce. Have you tried counseling? You may have lost the connection you used to have.
What qualities should a real marriage have?? I can't get beyond that point in your question because I didn't know that there was a uniform way a marriage should be. I know what I like about mine and what I expect from it but what another person expects could vary. Outside of that, I don't see where you gave any type of compliment towards him so why would you expect him to feel the need address your question?? As he sat in silence, that would've been your opportunity to explain what you meant (in case he was confused) by listing things you loved about him.





Also, I don't know if 36 harassing phone calls can give reason for a restraining order. Maybe once you're already separated, and he's harassing you, maybe you can file a restraining order at that point.